Simplicity

We are the gods of olympus.

The dogs of dogtown.

Seek to destroy.

And pull down each other.

To be the best.

We want to be Ramses.

A monument eternal.

A colossal of pyramids.

No matter how ugly.

Whatever it takes to take our name beyond.

This feeling.

That I am not enough.

This vulnerability.

We take this and turn it into a stake and drive

It all around us. To pin those who shake our

confidence. To those who have shaken our resolve.

This quiet voice inside that is crushed.

We blame the world for destroying that tiny

vulnerable voice and we wonder

who would seek out such a thing

To torture ourselves

From finding something real

But do we see the realisation

that it is us. It is us that crushes.

That drives the stake of shame and emotion.

That stake called vulnerability.

That drives that stake to hurt those around us.

To destroy all that connects us

So for that one moment.

We feel safe.

But it is that stake

That voice

that tiny fleeting moment

That we should grasp

If we were to look at each other

at one another and take

root and speak in

whispers and love

and hugs and laughter

If were to for that moment to breathe

And take hold

and take of that fear and let it go

to blow it off our hands like a soft flower

butterfly

flapping away into the sun

We could see

and connect

to each other and feel something new

And wonder at the bravery

and stupidity

of our gullible need

to know that one moment of fear

was no so hard but that solid fleeting moment would build trust

and be worthy of that moment to gain

Something human.

For that moment to left go of the pain

and loneliness

To feel complete.

To feel complete.

It's simple.

So simple. Yet so hard.

To be free

I just want to be just be.

To be me.

To play free.

Just be me and free.

I wish to draw.

To paint.

To sing.

To draw paint and sing.

Design the world,

Paint a story

Compose an orchestra.

If I could just be.

Just be me.

To play free.

To just be me and free.

If for a moment to stop hiding myself

To scream out loud.

My naivety.

If for a moment to believe.

That I can just be.

If I could sit by the beach.

And enjoy the swell of the waves.

The sting of the sand.

The whistle of the wind.

Just for that one moment.

To be free. To play and to be.

Just to be me.

If you and I together.

Could lay side by side.

And sigh.

And stop pretending.

For this one moment to be me.

Just to be play and be free.

And be.

I have so short to live.

So short to wonder.

Every action and insecurity.

Double checked.

Just to see

If my pretence can be accepted.

If they can see to perceive that I have achieved.

But for all the games we play.

All the handshakes and hoops

The master of fake

We eat our cake.

That just one day we see.

If we could only be.

To play.

To be free.

Just to be me and free.

If we could only see.

That one day.

Where I can be me and free.

Slush Fund

This is my new blog.  Here is my online escape from the daily grind of public accounting.  I don't want to whinge about work, but instead will use this blog to plot my life after I complete my CA.

My first post is about setting up a slush fund to work out what I want to do in about a years time when I will quit public accounting.  I got the idea of the slush fund from Advance Riskology.  Credit where credit's due right?  Here's a bit of a brief of my initial budget to which I will amend as I go along.

Here's a monthly briefs of expenses I think I will need.  

$1,600 rent
$ 400 food
$ 30 travelling costs
$ 200 extra
$50 donations

In total just short of $3,000 per month.  I plan to be away for about 9 months, so I need $27,000.

The good news is I already have that much saved.  However this amount does not include the amounts I will need for the business that I plan on starting...

Well that's it for my first post